What NOT to do in Korea...

1. Greet people like the French (a kiss on either cheek) or slap their back, like the Greek. The customary Korean greeting is a slight bow of the head and, in some cases, a handshake: right hand in one or both hands.

In Canada last year, Hwan had Korean friends over for dinner and I made the mistake of hugging them hello. They approached him to clarify- what was the deal.. was I romantically interested? Oops.

Don't wave hello. It's acceptable among close friends but not elders. There are many formalities in Korea, and if you're saying anyoasayo: the formal hello, waving undermines the respect.

2. Eat rice or stew: jiggae with chopsticks. You'll look like an amateur. Even Koreans use spoons. Also, refrain from sticking chopsticks straight up in your rice, like you're honoring the dead, and eat your kimbap in one bite! Read my post on restaurant/bar etiquette here.

3. Casually link arms with someone of the opposite sex. Girls often link arms with girlfriends but but co-ed arm linking is likened to holding hands; it's an intimate act.

4. Resist sharing or accepting food. Even children, the uber selfish, break a chocolate bar into 10 pieces so everybody can have some.

When invited to someones house for dinner, never fish in your kimchi jiggae for a rice cake or chunk of beef. Just eat. Also, try to clean your plate and always act appreciative.

5. Wear a tank top. Girls- there's a double standard in Korea. You can show thigh in a mid-winter miniskirt but, for some reason, you aren't supposed to reveal too much arm. I learned this at my work Christmas party! It was boiling hot and my coworkers kept asking if I was cold and should put a sweater on.

6. Forget to reply to a text message. Koreans never leave the house without their phone, and they slide it open about once ever 5 minutes, to see if they missed a message. An exaggeration? Maybe, but if it takes you longer than an hour to reply to a msg., you better have a damn good excuse.

7. Dye your hair a crazy color. It ain't Japan!

8. Write a student's name in red (inferring death), call them a "bad boy" or "bad girl," call them crazy, which translates to "psychopathic," wave them over like you would livestock; wave with your palm down, curling your fingers towards yourself, instead.

9. Rush romance. Koreans are friends for months before feelings develop. There isn't a 'love at first sight' mentality- lust at first sight, maybe. Friendship in Korea is the bud of love, and that bud takes a long time to develop.

Many of my Korean friends (couples) dated for 4 months+ before they held hands for the first time. And no canoodling at the park! Public displays of affection: anything more than a hug on the subway or linked arms on the street, are frowned upon.

10. Women- Profess your feelings first. Korean men are always the first to ask a girl on a date, and later if she wants to "be a couple". Women should never, ever say, "I love you,' first.
It's still a male dominated society, and Korean men expect to be the pursuers.

11. (Bonus) Praise Kim Jong ll's love of luxury items. Talk about what great taste he has in cars, clothing, electronics...

Brought to you from the streets of Suwon: