Hitchhiking in Korea. Or, meet my hero.

Last Sunday I headed to a gallery I thought was just outside of Seoul. I took a bus, the subway, another bus, and the driver told me to get out- in the middle of nowhere. The sun was beginning to set and I knew the gallery would soon be closing. I was hours away from Suwon.
There are farms all around me. Where are the buildings? The crowds of people? The cars? Finally a jeep came to the stop sign where I was pacing, map in hand. I ran onto the road. "Stop, please stop!" I shouted at him. He rolled down the window.
Where is **** gallery, I asked in Korean. A 40 minute walk away. Wonderful. He told me to get into his car. He only looked about 20 yrs. old and I noticed a girl in the front seat. OK. Safe enough.

They drove me to the gallery and I arrived just as it was closing. I thanked them for their generosity, exasperated because there would be no time to tour and I had zero idea how to get back to Suwon.

So nice of you to go out of your way. Where were you headed, in the first place, I asked him. "Suwon, to meet my friends. But I have to drive my sister home first." SUWON?! When he found out that was my destination, he said he'd return to get me in 15 minutes, when I was through taking photographs. We'd go together.

We became instant friends on our long drive to Suwon, laughing about destiny. He said he wants to be re-payed with dinner and an English lesson.

A Pressing Question!

Here is one of my coworkers teasing the kids, who are totally enamored- probably because the man himself is childlike. He's also a fantastic teacher.

He asks me ridiculous questions all the time because he has, "never known a foreign person." My eye color, skin color, hair, height, weight (I could go on) have all been scrutinized.

He's like a girl. If I wear a different color lipstick he wants to know why. I find myself inventing answers because there usually are none! My skin is pale. It just is. Yes you can examine it.

Today I said I don't like the crushed ice, whipped cream and red beans desert, with fruit from a can- although I'm sure it's better for me than a towering scoop of ice cream.

WELL he informed me, there's a Polish girl in Korea who enjoys red beans so much she eats a bean sandwich everyday- and she makes the crushed ice sundae a couple times a week. He said it really makes him happy she enjoys beans so much.

I asked how he knows her. Does she go to Ajou University? "I saw her on TV," he replied.

The girl and I are both foreigners. She's from Poland. I'm from Canada. It baffles him. Why does she like the desert when I do not?

A Reader Responds: Safety in Korea

My Korean American friend Calvin sent me this link: http://www.safetygearhq.com/ If you're at all concerned about your safety, buy a self defense device.

When this man offered me a free banana, he did it in a crude way and gave his card playing, chain smoking buddies one of "those" looks.

A reader's response to the 'Weirdest Encounters' post. She asked to remain nameless:

"I wrote to you a while back to tell you how much I love your blog. I recently saw it again, and I'm sorry to hear about your gross experiences with some Korean men. Unfortunately, many older men seem to think anything is okay. I've had some bad experiences too (one of the standouts being a masturbating taxi driver).

The worst happened just last week: while on my way to work, a guy punched me out of the blue, then threw a glass bottle at my face; if I hadn't ducked, my face would have been cut. Fortunately, I got out of it with a cut on my head. The crazy thing is, they say he probably won't get jail time, even though he's done this before. After the hearing, it's plain to me he's a woman hater who will do this again. And it's crazy that a Canadian English teacher just got six months for forging a college degree! A little unbalanced in terms of justice....

Anyway, I felt compelled to write after reading your stories...I'm so happy that you're not letting those experiences affect your time in Korea. But also, as I'm sure many people have already told you: be careful! And unfortunately Korean men, especially those with liquor in them, are not known for being demure and charming."

My 5 Weirdest Encounters in Korea

"Hold me! Oh, it's terrible, Darling. What is that thing?"

5. Older Korean ladies stare in awe as I eat spicy food, waiting for my mouth to catch fire or my body to reject the red pepper.

4. Bakers target me because they think I'm anxious to bring home a pantry full of white bread and baked goods.

3. Men assume I'm Russian and can be purchased. I've had a couple show me their wallets. One not so funny incident: In broad daylight Suwon, an old Korean man smiled, approached me and reached out his hands to shake/hold mine. I thought it was a sweet gesture and laughed shyly, only to find him yanking my hands down to his crotch. I pulled away and rushed down the street without looking back.

2. Sunday night, I had a fellow follow me in Seoul, insisting, "I'm not crazy, not psycho. I just have a good feeling about us." I made up a lie about returning to Canada the next day. He said plans could be changed. Then as I was waiting in line, a stranger in his 50's strolled up to me, put his nose a few inches from my face, studied it, and walked away with no expression.

1. I had my window open one Sunday afternoon and looked out to find a woman in the next apartment (only a few feet from mine) with her chair facing out her window and into mine. She was sipping lemonade and watching me fold my laundry. When I caught her eye, she just casually sipped her juice.

Disclaimer: By no means is this a comment on Korean culture! I've had my share of unsettling encounters in Canadian cities, still lights a question mark or makes your stomach turn.

PS -
Proof that the apartment IS indeed a bachelor's pad (whatever that means.) Actually this table hockey, beer drinking shtick is uncharacteristic. Can anybody guess which one is my boyfriend? If you guess right I'll mail you some kimchi. Mmm... heat and travel should help the fermentation.

Life as an Expatriate

Back home in Montreal, my boyfriend is moving into a new apartment. He is hoping a change of scenery will enable him to break bad habits. He has a new grocery store, bookstore and gym. He wants to be more disciplined.

My apartment building

That's what lifestyle is; habits we've acquired, good ones and bad. I think many people move to a new country, hoping to escape routine and change themselves for the better. I do think moving, be it down the street or to a new country, makes it easier to change, but not easy. You don't escape the tendencies.

Before I moved to Korea, I found little information about Suwon, and the outdated photos led me to believe the city was dirty, industrial and almost rural in parts. I thought I could live a simple life here for 12 months.

I was surprised when faced with the pressures of Korea- the competition, the superficiality, the high tech obsessions (small TVs on Taxi dashboards).

I did that silly post about assimilation, but I have changed and assimilated in many ways.

You may say, "so what. There's a 7-Eleven on every corner," and yes- Korea is a developed Nation; I have cable TV, running water and a flush toilet, but the customs and lifestyle are different. On a map, it seems I traveled as far away from home as I could go.

I have kimchi and red pepper paste in my fridge, I send about 10 text messages every day, I keep a neat appearance, I hang my clothing to dry and speak a little bit of Korean.

When I was at Everland on Sunday, I noted how strange it was to see so many foreigners- that they stood out in a crowd. Kyle reminded me that I am a foreigner.

My neighborhood in Suwon has a small town feel. My neighbors, especially the older generation, were initially leery or perversely curious about me. They held back smiles, but I now feel accepted. No one stares. Instead they nod and say hello in Korean, like I'm one of them:

There's a traditional market with the same vendors selling slabs of beef, brown eggs and kimchi.

I'll miss the man who owns a wine bar next to my building. He sits on his veranda all day long, lets his wife do the work, and waves to passersby like me. He has photos of his travels on the wall; green pictures of Thailand and Vietnam that he is eager to discuss.

There's a convenient store clerk perpetually unpacking boxes of inventory. The family run kimbap Heaven restaurant leaves the TV on a Korean drama channel so patrons can watch. The server at Coobuck Coffee flips through an Elle or Vogue magazine, ready to serve a latte in her pressed apron.

Everything is familiar- even the unpleasant things, like a cat I saw for the first time yesterday, after hearing its cries of agony for a month. It has only 3 legs, and fur in patches.

I made the decision to only have Korean friends this year. Sometimes I get frustrated when I have to repeat myself continuously or simplify my English, but I've had a more "authentic" stay in Korea because of my relationships.

I was telling Josh last night, I have it in my mind that I'm leaving Korea in 5 or 6 months, and I may never return- even for a vacation, so I can't get too attached to the people here. I hate to think I'll have to wave goodbye forever.

My Boring Saturday

New Maeil Indian Lassi drink. More sweet than "mango."

But I lived with an Indian guy for a year, so I'm a snob.

Wasn't really in the mood for 50 cent baby octopus:

Don't you love happy older folk?










After teaching all morning, I met the guy I do a language exchange with.
He's actually becoming a good friend which makes it a bit weird
when he gets a wallet out to pay me:

We got iced caramel lattes at Coobuck. When you order hot coffee,
the waitress serves it in china cups. My old boss at the Brockville Museum
(Bonnie Burke) would be pleased! Aileen, remember when she insisted tea
tastes better from real china? Such a lady.




Most students have to wear uniforms to school (even on a Saturday):




I put my foot in my mouth a few times while discussing Korean culture,
but he seemed to think I was funny anyway:




Getting dirty looks for being camera intrusive (for YOUR benefit!):

I love this hungry little dog with determination in his step.

I call him Sparky. He's famous in my neighborhood:

Saturday Night in Suwon --

There's a romantic area with fountains near Galleria Department store.

The teenagers like it:

TOP 10 Things I Miss about Canada

OH CANADA ...

1. FRESH AIR. A horizon unclouded by a yellow ring. Sundays with family.




2. CELINE DION (Nah)

3. TIM HORTON'S for cheap, freshly brewed coffee & Iced Cappuccinos. (We have a knock-off Tim Hortons in Suwon, but it is a dimly lit bar selling $7 coffee):



4. TOQUES. Brrrave weather, not mild and indecisive. Ice storms. Enough snow to call in sick or build a snowfort. Enough autumn leaves to build a house.

5. HOLIDAYS. Because what self respecting adult doesn't want to root through a stocking or dress up as Brian Mulroney?



6. ROAD TRIPS. Spontaneous summer trips with best friends, beavers, salmon and grizzly bears (threw that in to educate you non-Canadians.)




7. MONTREAL. The melting pot of ethnicities with a Liberal mindframe. Can you blame me? Check out what the mountain looks like on Sundays:




8. Throwing HOUSE PARTIES. Small apartments force Koreans to party at a club or bar.



9. Chatting with my NANA online is great, but I'd rather we share cookies and tea over a game of Scrabble.



10. FRIENDS & FAMILY... who (shocker) speak pretty good English:



Special nods to cheap meat, fruit and vegetables, maple syrup, LEONARD COHEN (who I met in person), BACKYARDS (which I always took for granted), TREVOR FERGUSON (a great Canadian author, and my former professor), my Father's sense of humor, My Mother's ART and cooking, Mark's thoughtful and intelligent responses, Canada Dry Gingerale, Sarah Polly (an awesome Canadian actress), poutine, loons, Jim Carrey, and CBC. Eh?

Think you don't know any Korean?

When I first arrived in S.K, I recall hearing English words float to the surface, in a sea of foreign jabbering. Konglish is English, written in Hangul and spoken with a Korean accent. The term Konglish can also represent the misuse of English in Korea, but that's another subject altogether. Many 20th century objects have been assigned a Konglish title.

Pat yourself on the back, because you just may be familiar with these "Korean" words:

Running shirt / Hand phone / Bus / Diet / Neck tie / Heart (symbolic of love) / Home run / Chance / Hot cake / Coffee / Ice Cream / Balcony.

The Korean Restaurant & Hair Salon Experience

In Korea, you never tip in taxis, hair salons or restaurants. Taxes are also included in the price. I can't seem to shake the habit of calculating 15% like I did in Canada. There are exceptions; some American eateries like VIPS steakhouse add a 10% service charge to the bill.

I much prefer the Korean restaurant experience. Instead of a waiter hovering over your table with a cheese grater and pepper shaker, asking, "everything alright?" you're served your meal and left alone. You even pour your own water from a pitcher on the table.

There isn't a coffee and desert custom here. Koreans rarely eat desert after dinner and, although there's a coffee shop on every corner in Seoul, you'll be hard pressed to get a good cup of coffee at a Korean restaurant.

Minimum wage in Korea is surprisingly low: 3,480 W/ 3.50 USD, an hour. But many restaurants are family owned and operated, so minimum wage doesn't apply. Tipping could even be interpreted as an insult. Times I've attempted to tip at a restaurant, I've been met with a furrowed brow. "Anayo, anayo." (No, no.)

There was one taxi driver who practically kissed my feet when I gave him 1000 won, but just save your money!

You never tip at hair salons, either. Compared to Montreal, Korea offers up a deal. The average cost is about 30,000 W, for a wash, cut, blow dry and if you're lucky- a cup of coffee. That's right. Get your coffee at the hair salon, not the restaurant.

Some Koreans have very thick, course hair, but it's generally straight. I've noticed a lot of Koreans with razored hair ends. That might work on glossy locks, but if you have wavy or curly hair (which is more porous), don't let your hair dresser come near you with a razor.

In fact, you might want to travel to Itaewon in Seoul, also known as Western town. There, you can find International restaurants and products. Hairdressers are likely more adapt at cutting international hair types.

It can be a dangerous area at night, though, and if you're going to run into a "happy ending" barber shop, it's probably there. After a hair trim, men may be shocked when asked if they want to be taken into the back. Prostitution has long been visible in Itaewon, and the centre of prostitution in Itaewon is called "Hooker Hill."

A Japanese in Korea/ Love.

Squid, served at bars in Korea and Japan.

There's something romantic about forbidden relationships. As a girl from a watered down Christian family, I've been drawn to more than one Jew. The culture clash is exciting, in a Romeo and Juliet sort of way.

Last night, I rode the subway to Inchon to meet my friend Min's Japanese girlfriend. She moved to Korea with the facade of teaching, but mainly to be with Min.

ESL teachers earn twice as much as Japanese instructors. She won't make much money here, unless she tutors illegally.

In a culture concerned with blood lines, I'm pollution according to the older generation, and a commodity in the eyes of the youth. Everyone has gone out of their way to welcome me, but on a polite, surface level.

My friends here are Koreans who have traveled abroad and have a general understanding of western culture.

J. was telling me about a Jewish Canadian who married a Korean man. She spent years here-- secured a great job in Seoul, fell head over heels with Korean culture and cuisine. But the couple had to relocate to America so they could be accepted.


Given the history, there's still tension between Korea and Japan. My students have even expressed hatred. Min hasn't told parents he has a girlfriend: Hiroko, let alone that she moved here, suitcases in tow.

I'd like to visit Japan, so I asked Hiroko how it differs from Korea. The countries are in such close proximity that they can't help but influence each other. Karaoke and high fashion have infiltrated Korea through its neighbouring country.

Hiroko told me to look around the bar. "This is what Japan's like," she insisted, "It's a bit cleaner, more expensive, but basically the same." She is trying her hand at learning Hangul and making a home for herself in a country that is not her own.

For a Laugh: English Key Phrases in Korea

A while back, my friend Min and I were drinking green tea lattes at Dunkin Donuts and he pulled out his Korean-English phrasebook. I read the "relationship" section and he asked if he could have used the lines, on Canadian girl, during his year abroad:

1. Please be yourself with me.
2. I need your arms to hold me.
3. She twined her arms around my neck.
4. When our eyes met, I was on cloud nine.
5. How can you tell me such a joke with a straight face?
6. Please, cry on my shoulder.
7. Kiss me by the book.
8. I will marry you and spend my life with you, if you don't mind.
9. Your beauty overwhelms me.
10. I can make your bed warm tonight... if you don't mind.

A Korean "Business Meeting"

My Saturday was snapped up by the school. I had a presentation at 10 AM- did an introduction in Hangul! I was pleased the parents understood my Korean.

In the evening, the president of the hagwon insisted foreign teachers from all campuses meet for dinner and drinks. If your head honcho calls a meeting, keep Korean drinking culture in mind. There will likely be drinking games, "bottoms up" every 5 minutes, and it's rude to refuse the first drink. I discuss Korean bar etiquette here.

Don't bother briefing yourself on current events. It won't come in handy. Koreans work hard but play with equal enthusiasm. Prepare pop songs for Karaoke and refrain from eating so your stomach can handle the surplus of beer, soju and drink house food.

Korea, like home tonight.

Suwon, South Korea

It's a mild, rainy night. It sure doesn't feel like February as I know it in Canada! Recent weather reports in Ontario warned people against breathing in the cold air.

I'm eating take-out: kimbap and rabbogie. The rice cakes are swimming in red pepper sauce, with carrots, leaks, cabbage and onions.

At the restaurant on my way home from work, my end of the conversation went like this: Anyoasayo. (Bow.) Rabbogie pojung? Nay. Comsamnida. Anyo (to a bag). Pay-go-payo. Smile. Comasamnida. Anyungekasayo.

Onlookers are amused when I attempt to speak Hangul. Of course, had the waitress asked me anything, she would have revealed my ignorance. Basically I know enough to be fed!

The other day I was approached by a Mongolian woman. She's a newlywed, married to a Korean, with no friends or family in Korea. She and her husband converse in the International language: English.

You'd swear she was Korean by looking at her, so Koreans initiate conversation, and are confused when she doesn't understand. I'm grateful for my pale skin, and that trusty Canadian flag pinned to my coat.

But tonight, for the first time, chopsticks feel natural in my hand. The pressure is effortless.

When you arrive in a foreign country, you only have to wake up to feel alive. Hooking up a phone or mastering the transportation system is accomplishment enough. But it has been over 3 months now and routine has followed me, as it does most people. It's necessary to make an effort to keep life interesting, and push yourself to do better- to learn more, see more.

Tonight I'm reading, studying Korean and writing. I like the rain.

I've been invited to a Korean's home for Lunar New Years, Sunday. The guy's family must be liberal, because the celebration is steeped in tradition. It's the holiday that carries the most weight in Korea so it would be like me inviting a near-stranger to Christmas day at my family's home.

Addictive Traveling

Go ahead, take a bite of Korea. Mmm, doesn't that taste good?

Ju Suk, who I met on the weekend, has lived all over the U.S, China, England and is currently studying economics, on a full scholarship, in Scotland. He's trilingual. The only question for him is: what country's next? We discussed the addictive nature of traveling.

I detailed my arrival in Korea. I was on a high. The first few mornings, I jerked awake. My senses were assaulted by the newness of stacked stores, color, noise pollution, wafts of street food, neon signs, go go dancers and multi-lane traffic.

I spent my first day walking around, dazed, curious as the schoolgirls who cornered me in a washroom, demanded to touch my blond hair and know where I was from.

As a kid, I benefited from my Father's impulsiveness. He whisked Mom and I off to France, Holland, The Bahamas, Venezuela, but it's his road trips I recall fondly.

I remember nestling into a foggy 4AM car one morning. Mom, my Nana and I drifted asleep as Dad drove. We were headed to Boston but when I awoke, our car was parked outside The Whitehouse in Washington D.C.! When Dad reached Boston, he decided to keep going.

I grew comfortable in Montreal, as a University student. But the four year old is back: the one who slumped in her seat when we rolled into the driveway, the one who pouted, "but Daddy, why go home so soon?"

A Small World After All

Tonight I saw my old Canadian roommate: Hwan. He arrived in Korea after a year as a Montrealer. Actually, everyone who met in Seoul tonight was fresh from Canada.

They each journeyed to Canada alone, met fellow Koreans, and returned to their homeland as best friends. I'm glad my country could bring them together... *sigh*

Me and Hwan. I was so happy to see him I almost cried! Don't ask about the hair. Yes, it's frozen like that. Someone made a "Something about Mary" comment.

We're devouring Korean egg roll, seafood pancake, rice wine, Kimchi tofu, etc. Koreans don't hold back. I used to think of Asians as skinny, but now know Koreans to be skinny (with beer-bellies at different stages.)

Sausages, peanuts and beer. Uri's ripping apart the semi-dried seafood so we can dig in.

We were dining on the heated floor of a traditional Korean restaurant, and I decided to crawl over to the next table and say hello. They had chocolate, and I played my foreigner card to get some. Min said, "it would be something special for them to get their photo taken with a foreigner." Basically I'm an alien.

Kyle, who I met in Canada. Little did I know his hometown is Suwon! We rode the bus back together.