The Korean Dream.

Gangnam, Seoul

Inspired by the brainstormed ideas of my adult class:

The Korean dream? No, not a rose garden, black lab, a boy and a girl strapped into in an SUV, kayak on top. Korean land is small. A nice apartment and lucrative career is the dream.

Seoul is hot in the world real estate market. The cost of living is comparatively high. Although I'm tempted to disagree, stats peg Seoul as the 2nd most expensive city to live in, topped only by New York. Tokyo has fallen to 3rd place.

Location is important, and Seoul's hot spot is Gangnam. The 2 floor penthouses sometimes have a garden terrace, but generally speaking the 7 and 8th floors of apartment buildings are coveted for their view.

Like a good brand of jeans, there are names attached to Korean apartment complexes. The chains are backed by marketing schemes and famous spokespersons. New names pop up like toast.

My young students pitied me when I pointed out my 2nd floor walk-up. They worried it could be targeted by buglers. Apartment buildings in Seoul, especially luxury ones, have heightened security systems. Entrances are concealed from the street, and ID must be flashed to the doorman.

I asked my students why Koreans work so much overtime, and they explained that it's the competitive job market. Workers are constantly reviewed, and forced to prove their worth if they want a raise, let alone job security.

Korean men accept the fact that they will work long hours for success, and they secretly fear idleness. There is usually a social network at work. Men/women socialize with their coworkers.

People are having less and less children, due to the cost of child rearing, and filial duty is weakening. Many Mothers prefer not to be a burden to their eldest son, choosing to live alone or in a nursing home.

Koreans have less hobbies than North Americans. The Korean war was devastating and the country had to rebuild itself. This may have something to do with the limited leisure activities. Koreans have had to work hard to gain economic strength, and rediscover their culture.

Adoption/Babies in Korea

Korea is a developed nation, but is traditional in many ways. There's social stigma attached to single mothers, and adoption is shrouded in secrecy. Blood lines are important, not just among the wealthy. For this reason, most Korean orphans are adopted by Western families.

My student told me about a priest, a friend of his family, who found a baby in a basket at his doorstep. He and his wife felt a vocational duty to raise the child. Adoptive fathers usually seek a child with the same blood type. Luckily for him, the baby's type was the same.

The priest and his wife moved to a new neighborhood to present the child as their own own. It is common to move, especially when the adopted child is already 2 or 3 years old. Some women who adopt a newborn or use a surrogate will go as far as faking pregnancy for 9 months.

Although increasingly accepted, unwed mothers are isolated in Korea. They cannot be proud of the sweat and tears that go into raising a child alone.

Interesting Fact: As I've mentioned, there is a 100 Day celebration in Korea. Babies weren't exposed for fear of infection so, on this day, the baby was introduced to extended family for the first time.

Only the boys are photographed nude. Families take pride in their son's little winky. One woman in my class, the 3rd girl in her family, wasn't photographed because her Mother was ashamed not to give birth to a boy.

Photos, in the time being!

My little man showing off:

Mom, Dad, I'm adopting him. Don't be shocked when I show up at the airport, holding his hand. I'm madly in love. Aren't you?

Girls drinking cream soda outside my door:

Inside the Ear is Love

My adult students respond to my ear- cleaning article.

One young woman describes the act in detail: "About twice a month, I lie my head down on my sister's lap, under a light. She peers into my ear, small spoon in hand. It's an act of affection and I can't see into my own ears to clean them.

When she finds a big piece of earwax, she gets excited, ohh, I found something good!" The other students shake their heads in amusement. They've experienced this. One guy says his ex girlfriend used to do a thorough cleaning of his belly button.

Many use the spoon after a bath, and claim using something as ineffective as a Q-tip would leave them feeling unclean. I guess when you've had the spoon, you don't go back.

One woman says she now uses a Q-tip, because the spoon presents a possible danger, but the others stay loyal. When I admit I've only ever used a cotton swab, concern washes over the classroom! They must think I have a small colony of Western plants growing in there.

They say if I date a Korean guy, he can clean my ears for me. I tell them that's quite alright.

Feet Feedback

Shocker. Asking my adult students to explain Korean culture is more fruitful than questioning 7 year olds who have just discovered their belly buttons.

I brought in my 'Culture of Feet' article this morning and got interesting feedback:

1. "Nice shoes are important in the business world. If a Korean man wears sneakers, people assume he's between jobs."
2. "It's important not to wear shoes in the home because the floor is where we eat and sleep."
3. "Most Koreans have separate bathroom, balcony and living room slippers."
4. "My friend's mother has a pair of high-heel shoes that she only wears inside. She's short, so I assume the extra bit of height helps her self esteem. The new invention is high heel socks."
5. "Korea is famous for its knock-off brands. You can buy nice-looking shoes for cheap, so they're available to everyone."
6. "Shined shoes present an image of diligence."

My students on Adoption in Korea: To be continued.

Adult Classes

The story is one of my colleagues got caught private tutoring and was sent back to America. I took over his morning classes.

Here's an excerpt from an e-mail I received from Martin Watts:

"It's a shame about your colleagues getting caught doing private lessons - but then, I thought the vast majority of people did that? I have heard that the only time it is ever an issue is when someone, be it a school or a pupil or whatever, develops a vendetta against a teacher and informs on them to Immigration - which is just so unfair! Korea is so determined, it alleges, to become an advanced nation, but it has such restrictive immigration rules - and not just restrictive, but arbitrary as well."

He's right. There are numerous reasons why Immigration was informed. The guy was chronically late and invested little in his classes. He was also rather friendly with the girls. Suwon is so desperate for foreign English teachers that it isn't easy to get shipped home.

Teaching adults has been fun. I have a class of 12 and they're all over the map. One is an architect who's moving to Chigago. One has plans to open his own hagwan business, "so he'll make lots of money and have free time." One is a masters student majoring in tourism, and one is a housewife looking to start a career late in life.

Their English is advanced so we discuss heavier topics: law, politics, divorce etc. I've also brought in material from my blog so they could say, "no, no, no you're misinformed here," or, "let me help you better understand this custom." They've applauded my curiosity. We laugh and have a good time.

Here are some funny/interesting things my students have said in class:

"Koreans often hang up without saying goodbye, like on soap operas. Sometimes Westerners are insulted, but it's the norm. Only in business dealings should you stay on the phone until the other party hangs up."

"In the beginning, I spent a lot of money on my girlfriend- hundreds of dollars on clothes and jewelry, but now the tables have turned and she buys me lots of stuff, so I'd say it was a good investment."

"Water is set out for ancestors on Lunar New Years because it suggests a pure spirit."

"The day before we do traditional bowing at the graves of our ancestors, we mow the grass because the site is considered their home."

"Usually wives control the finances, in Korea. My wife pays the bills and gives me an allowance from my own paycheck."

"Parents in Korea feel great affection towards their children, but invest too much. We want them to enter a prestigious school. We'd do anything to make that happen. Many Mothers are consumed by their children and have no life apart from parenting."

"It's true- most women nowadays don't know how to make their own kimchi. We buy it from the store. But we recall our Mother's kimchi with nostalgia. We helped her make it, and bury jars of it in soil to ferment, for two weeks, along with bean paste."

"I don't agree that friendship is usually the bud of romance in Korea. That has never been the case with me. Blind dates are very popular here, among youth. Friends constantly introduce friends. Friendship is what develops if there's no chemistry."

"Koreans don't bow anymore- only to elders. And only the very traditional would be insulted by a wave."